Do you ever feel like the odds are against you as a writer?

As a parent, we carry all kinds of worries. The need to protect our little people from the world is innate. Deep in the bones. Perhaps stronger than our own desire to protect ourselves, though the two are undoubtedly interconnected.

I’ve spent a lifetime intentionally fitting into the world. Whether that be aspiring to have a certain kind of body, my educational pursuits, or keeping my strongest opinions to myself. I am in a constant state of tempering myself for a world that can be downright heartbreaking. Even in my writing, I spend a small part of every day with doubt. With fear. With resistance.

Parenting and writing are the same thing, right?

Somehow, I’ve created a human who, though resembling me in many ways, far surpasses my wildest dreams in most others. She demands the world around her adapt – not the other way around.  It’s such a simple thing, but so profound for a person, like me, who has forever tried to fit myself into established boxes. To be palatable and non-offensive to the most amount of people, even if that means saying less.

 Kids are way cleverer than we give them credit for but so quickly they learn to find the boxes that apply and figure out where they are lacking. My daughter rips boxes into tiny pieces and lights them on fire. 

Earlier this month, my daughter insisted I sign her up for a competitive grade in her school swimming carnival. My mom brain kicked in, knowing she’s not exactly as far along in her swimming lessons as her classmates. She has struggled to pass stages every single year. To tick the boxes quite literally set out in front of her. I worried she would feel ‘lesser’ in a pool of arguably better swimmers. Her paperwork and general history indicated she was not on the same level. I wanted to protect her from that realization. From the disappointment of being found wanting.

Fearless survivalist best describes her swimming style and it’s how she lives her entire life. She assured me it would be fine. She’s got this. Against my own hesitant intuition, I signed her up.

Yesterday, as she stood on the line ready to dive into the pool, I was sick to my stomach. But she smiled, having no doubt that she did, in fact, have this.

To the shock of everyone, except for her, she finished the A grade freestyle race in third place. I think she winked at me at the finish line.

Final thoughts on how this applies to the writer – published author journey

Writing has more obstacles than wins. There is every reason to believe that success isn’t going to come. That we’ll never get a draft that we’re happy with. That we’ll never find an agent to sell our work or a publisher that appreciates the vision. That we’ll never have the courage to self-publish if that’s the path we choose. That the countless hours we spend creating stories will never come to any tangible fruition. That others are better, more deserving and more likely to do well.

But if we don’t back ourselves, even when the odds are most definitely against us, who else will?

Along with having a good hard look at my subpar parenting these last few weeks, I’m officially transitioning into my ‘ultimate-cheerleader-parent’ era, but also my own biggest fan – knowing full well that the fear of failure ain’t got nothing on the possibility of success. 

Take it from a little lady who knows better than I do.